Written Kitten!!

I don't update frequently, I'm sorry! 許してにゃん♥

I have never been so motivated to write 500 words so quickly in my life.

Seriously, wtf did I just write?



Hello, my name is Garfunkel and I'm a robot. How do you do? Yesterday I went walking in the mountains and encountered a magical fountain. A parrot came flying out of the fountain, straight from a spout! It's a wonder he could fit through, but I learned he was a special parrot. This parrot, despite being a solid, could pour from the spout like water. Isn't that curious? Anyway, he said he'd worried to warn me of the ogre at the end of the bridge. He'd been hungry since Spring had recently ended and it's just been ages since he'd had a thing to eat! Mister Ogre was always very cranky when he was hungry, and ever since his hibernation, he'd been the worst the mountain's creatures had ever seen him. I inquired as to his favourite food, and Mister Parrot replied that he just loved bacon doughnuts. I stood there, taking a short reprieve for a quick think. How could I find a doughnut on a mountain like this? This wasn't Doughnut Mountain. That mountain was simply much too far from the mountain I was standing on. This wasn't Doughnut Mountain. This was Wickquick Mountain, which very easily would melt if subjected to fire or extreme heat! For this reason, a pageboy would be sent annually to stock up on anti-flatulents for the Great Cabana Attendant at the top of the mountain, Mister Ostrich-Gigas. Sad as it is, Wickquick Mountain is not a harmonious place where the creatures live in peace. While many of them are friends and have great concern and consideration for one another, such as Mister Parrot towards this ogre, many creatures were omnivorous. Because of this, creatures had to be oh-so-careful in choosing their alliances. In any case, Mister Ostrich-Gigas survived on a diet of ogres. For this reason, I decided, I would have to be very choosy when delivering a doughnut to Mister Ogre at the end of the bridge. Recently, I'd heard of a small doughnut shop at the base of Wickquick Mountain, and the papers were abuzz with praise for their new, fancy, $500 bacon-frosted doughnuts. I wouldn't expect such a thing to exist very far outside of Doughnut Mountain, let alone the state of Texas, yet here it was! All the way north to Wickquick Mountain! It had seemed like an answered prayer, however, this sort of doughnut would just not do the trick. You see, if Mister Ogre enjoyed a new, fancy, $500 bacon-frosted doughnut, should the Great Cabana Attendant at the top of the mountain, Mister Ostrich-Gigas, make a snack of him, the results on Wickquick Mountain could be disastrous. As much as I sincerely wanted to help Mister Ogre out of his doughnutless plight, and I would have loved for him to live a long, happy life and enjoy that new, fancy $500 bacon-frosted doughnut for himself, this was not a risk I was willing to take. It's really so unfortunate, the way these things work up here.