Summer?

I'm getting some important things done lately, but I'm also trying to enjoy my break! It's a tough balance to achieve, but since I want to stay productive without robbing myself of my Summer vacation...

...This is how I wrote my resume.

Looks tough, I know.

So tough.

After I'd done my work and earned it, I went for a swim. ♥

I haven't gone swimming in a really long time...
Well, that's actually not true. I went swimming at a friend's when I was in Florida! But I wore a large top and some bathing suit bottoms that time, so it's not like I was wearing a bathing suit...

This time I had one in my drawer, so there was no excuse.

I'm not used to being that exposed. At all. Hell, I rarely wear sleeveless tops when I'm out and go with long sleeves if weather permits. I've gotten a lot better about it; There was a time that I would wear a jacket everyday in spite of the Florida heat during high school. Even more recently I've been teased about my arms by some guy who was supposed to be a friend (because people can be terrible - are my arms that bad? I should say not) and it makes me think that people must be thinking things to themselves about my appearance and only the worst of people will up and say it. This was completely different from my departure from long sleeves and jackets, this was a bathing suit. I know people do it everyday, but this was scary!

"I look fine! People do this everyday and I'm no different and just as pretty as any other girl!"

"No, I'm disgusting and nobody wants to see this and everyone's going to be staring at me."

"No, there's definitely nothing to be ashamed of! Hiding away like this is just letting them win and confirming that people should feel ugly like this!"

"Yes, but not going at all saves the shame of being an object of disgust."

I went back and forth in my head about this for awhile...

Eventually, I'd decided that I'd worked hard and deserved to go swimming and have fun!
I was pretty scared at first. There were lots of other girls in bikinis and while mine was a 2-piece that covered most of my torso, my back was still exposed, not to mention my arms. They were all perfectly comfortable lounging around like that. Why wasn't I? Were they in on some secret that I wasn't? Were they really that much better than I am?

As long as I had this defeatist attitude about me, they were. I was my own undoing here, I wanted to go swimming. If I didn't, I'd be cheating myself out of a fun day, right?

I wore my bathing suit. I went swimming. I had a nice time. And, most importantly...

Nothing bad happened.

The End. ♥